Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Measles vaccinations drop as CDC updates travel guidance - Yahoo

It’s still here.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Should women be allowed in “combat roles” within the military?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Trump's huge bill includes immediate gift for layoff-ridden Bay Area tech - SFGATE

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

I was tired of fighting.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Why do females hate MGTOW so much?

Be who you already are.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

How do you like to be pegged?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

And the sadness?

Tim McGraw's daughter Gracie McGraw comes out as queer: 'Happy freaking Pride' - USA Today

I was tired of trying and failing.

You are like me, then.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Jason Sudeikis Pays Tribute To His Late Uncle George Wendt: “I Love Him Dearly” - Deadline

The sadness was still there.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Nintendo has replaced the longtime voice of Peach and Toad - Polygon

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

I had run out of hope.

Teens like me, what are your expectations when entering adulthood?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.